


No Light, No Light

by abbymae7



Category: The 100
Genre: City of Light, Insecurity, M/M, PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:47:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3589980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbymae7/pseuds/abbymae7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even the city of light gets dark at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Light, No Light

**Author's Note:**

> So when I was typing up my other fic, I noticed that I never posted this one. I wrote it after the finale because I was in need of some Murphamh. I feel like I might have over-angsted it a bit, but it's Murphamy so it's alright. This is the first chapter, so not all the characters aren't brought up yet. Also, the name is after the song "No Light, No Light" by Florence + The Machine.

John sat on the boat trembling, gripping the tattered flesh on his arm. Cold, wet, bloody, and miserable. He was deteriorating and quickly. Murphy was so afraid and so exhausted and he needed someone desperately. That someone was Bellamy.

Bellamy was so important to Murphy, not that he'd ever tell Bellamy that. At first he was like this older brother who Murphy idolized and followed blindly. Then, however, it became more than that. Bellamy was one of the only people, the only person, that Murphy considered to be a friend. He needed Bellamy.

Bellamy was so comforting because because he always seemed so sure of himself, so strong. Murphy had never been strong and he relied so deeply on Bellamy to give him that strength.

But Bellamy wasn't here, he wasn't on the boat. Bellamy couldn't get him out of this hell. So Murphy sucked back the tears that his eyes threatened to spill and he crawled out of the boat. He let Jaha leave because Jaha meant nothing to him anymore, not after Craig. Actually, Jaha quite scared Murphy now.

Murphy was lured into sleep quickly and woke to a thick sun and the sound of waves splashing over rocks. He heard the music and followed until he found the cave. It was amazing. He ate crackers and found alcohol and got comfortable.

When he watched the video he froze. What the hell? What had happened? This place seemed so nice. Murphy was very hesitant after that and he carefully stood up and made his way to the bathroom. 

The first thing he noticed was his own reflection. He almost cried again. His hair was disgusting and long, his clothes torn and stained in blood. His skin was covered in grime and cuts. The cuts, the scars, that's what frightened him. They were everywhere. His nails still weren't grown in correctly.

Murphy cautiously stripped off his layers and cringed at the sight of his body. He'd always been a bit too skinny but it had gotten dangerous; there just wasn't enough food on the ground. You could count his ribs and everywhere was coated in a blanket of scars. He saw nothing but reminders of how much he despised himself. 

Murphy sant subconsciously to the soft rug and let his head rest on the cold wall behind him. He pulled his knees to his chest and let a tear fall from his eyes. Who cares? Nobody could see him.

"Murphy? Jaha?" Murphy jumped and quickly pulled his shirt and pants back on. It sounded like-, but it couldn't be.....

"Murphy? Is that you?"

"B-Bellamy?" Murphy spoke softly hating he weakness blaring through his words.

And then suddenly there were strong arms wrapped around him. Bellamy was gripping his shoulders so tightly and Murphy couldn't help but relax. Bellamy, of course it was Bellamy. The hell did he get here? But Murphy didn't care about the details, he just cared that Bellamy was holding him and he felt safe again. 

Then it happened. Murphy began to cry, really cry. It hadn't happened since the day he had been arrested and now it was a thousand times worse. Murphy had been more terrified than he had realized. He was afraid of the trip, of Emori, of Jaha, of himself. But Bellamy was holding him, which meant that in that moment nothing could hurt him.

Bellamy pulled back and looked at Murphy's face. Feeling self conscious, he turned down to his feet and his body shook. 

"Murphy, what's happened?" Bellamy asked words slow and clear as if he were talking to a small child. Murphy shook his head and curled into Bellamy's side. Bellamy knelt down on the ground and the hug became less awkward. Bellamy just held onto Murphy silently as he allowed him to finish crying and calm himself down. 

Bellamy had never really considered how much younger Murphy was. He was about six years above Murphy and he has always been more mature for his age. Murphy had been locked up most of his life and definitely didn't hold the same maturity that Bellamy did. And he just looked so vulnerable and helpless in Bellamy's arms. So fragile.

"Everything," Murphy finally sniffed, wiping his face of the wetness. "Everything's happened."

"Do you want to come back with me?" Bellamy asked referring to camp Jaha.

"Do I have a choice?" Murphy signed defeated.

"Yes, of course," Bellamy spoke completely seriously, Murphy still refusing to look Bellamy in the eyes. Not after he just had a meltdown in front of him.

"I don't really want to," Murphy began, "but I can't stay here."

"That's quite a problem you've got there," Bellamy teased, Murphy too exhausted to care. "Well it's too late to think about that tonight. There's a bed, yes?"

Murphy nodded. "Over there," he pointed.

"You take that, I'll take the couch," Bellamy explained. He pulled Murphy to his feet and brushed his hands off gently on his jeans.

"Don't be stupid, you'll sleep in the bed," Murphy said looking at Bellamy's eyes, but only for a moment.

"You're not sleeping on the couch, not with a broken arm," Bellamy said, surprising Murphy because he hadn't mentioned his arm. Murphy shrugged. "You want the left or the right?" 

Bellamy led them both into the bedroom and Murphy ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'd, um, I'd like to rinse off first, okay?" Murphy said hesitantly, but quite sure why it sounded like a question. 

"Yeah sure, I'll stay out here," Bellamy nodded, eyeing the alcohol and heading over to the glasses. "I'll probably hope in after you as well.

Murphy entered the bathroom and locked the door before turning the water on and stripping down. The water was surprisingly warm for a place that had been abandoned for about one hundred years. He let it run over his shaky body. It felt itching short of incredible.

However, the amazingness was quickly evaporated when he found out just how slippery a shower floor was. He turned to find soap when his feet caught underneath him and he landed on his bad arm. He screamed, against his will, from the pain on landing on a broken arm. He hissed as water in his eyes and against his trembling body. He wouldn't cry again, he wouldn't cry in front of Bellamy again.

Shit, Bellamy. He burst through the door quickly and Murphy used all the strength he had left to reach for a towel to cover himself with. Bellamy completely ignored this and was at Murphy's side in an instant. His hand picked Murphy up by his back and he cautiously say him up and turned the water off.

"What happened?" Bellamy asked, finally handing Murphy a towel when he noticed the shorter boy trying to cover his body with his arms. Murphy covered as much of his skin as he could, Bellamy could see how ugly he was.

"Everything," Murphy said through gritted teeth. His eyes burned with unshed tears and his body trembled of coldness, wetness, pain, and desperation. He felt safe with Bellamy, but he wanted him to leave the bathroom, right now.

"Let me help you-,"

"No, m'fine," Murphy argued trying, and failing, to stand up. Bellamy gently helped him to his feet and Murphy repositioned the towel. 

"Don't be ridiculous," Bellamy demanded. Murphy tried to shrink himself back and hopefully cover more of himself with the towel. He was utterly humiliated and just wanted to be alone, but Bellamy was too Bellamy to let Murphy wallow in his misery. 

"C-Could you hand me m-my clothes?" Murphy stuttered. Bellamy nodded, face softening at the sight of Murphy's teary eyes. Murphy cringed. "C-Could you turn around?" Bellamy nodded and turned to face the wall.

Murphy dropped the towel to his waist and tried to pull his shirt on, getting caught quickly and muttering curses under his breath.

"Murph, just let me help you," Bellamy pleaded hearing the boy struggling.

Murphy nodded and Bellamy, without caring what Murphy's answer was, turned sound and gently guided Murphy into his shirt. Murphy turned his head down as far as it could go and let tears fall down when Bellamy began to help his with his pants. His arm hurt so badly and he was so tried he felt like he was going to fall over. 

Bellamy had never seen the scars that covered Murphy's legs or the way his skins was almost all bruised or red. He had brought a pair of pajama pants from the cave and Murphy was so grateful that they weren't jeans. But he also was hit with a wave of fear when Bellamy pulled his pants up to his waist and had now seen 'all' of Murphy. But Bellamy didn't mention anything. 

"Tired?" Bellamy asked rubbing gentle circles into Murphy's trembling back. Murphy sniffed tears that continued to fall and let Bellamy lead him to bed. He even let the guy fucking tuck him in and run his hands through Murphy's wet hair. "Do you need anything else?" 

Murphy shook his head and pulled his body into a ball. The bed was so warm and he loved the way he felt drowned in all the covers. 

"I'm going to rinse off and then I'll be right back, okay?" Bellamy said rubbing Murphy's back and the entering the bathroom. He didn't close the door all the way and Murphy found comfort in how he could hear all of Bellamy's actions. As much as he'd wanted to be alone, he just felt such a sense of security with Bellamy. 

Bellamy was out in a minute or so with pajama pants on and a soft looking t shirt. The pants looked a little snug, as did the shirt, but anything beat the crap they'd been wearing. 

Bellamy crawled into the bed next to Murphy and both boys were silent. Bellamy was turned towards Murphy but Murphy was turned away from Bellamy. If he tried to look at Bellamy his arm would get crushed, and that wasn't going to happen again. 

"Hey Bellamy."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

 

-/-

 

Murphy woke up to complete silence. Bellamy wasn't in bed next to him and he panicked immediately. Had he just imagined it all? Was he alone again? Did Bellamy get freaked out by his scars and run away?

"Murphy, you awake yet?" Murphy sighed. He was still here, everything was still okay. Bellamy walked in and smiled. Murphy shrunk into the covers, remembering the embarrassing state he had been in the night before. 

"About last night," Murphy began but was cut off by Bellamy. 

"It's fine, Murph," Bellamy nodded his tone firm and Murphy hushed. "Found this arm sling in the first aid kit." Murphy watched as Bellamy fumbled around with the sling and then handed it to Murphy. "Also, I'm pretty sure we need to talk about everything going on back at camp Jaha."

Murphy nodded as Bellamy sat on top of the covers next to him and began to talk. "So basically the grounders and us decided to take on the mountain men but their commander made a deal and we got left with the short end. Clarke and Octavia and I broke into the mountain and the only way to get our people out was to kill all of theirs. Clarke could've live with the guilt and ran away. I was out trying to find her when I found this boat and I took it and then I found the lighthouse and then I thought I heard something, and there you were."

"That's quite a journey you made for Princess," Murphy observed his tone a little cold. Murphy hadn't expected Bellamy to drop everything to find him but it didn't feel good that his big rescue was just Bellamy stumbling upon him. But at least he was here now.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


End file.
